what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
