let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
