Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You've changed since you got that strap on
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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