I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
