There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
