Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
