Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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