I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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