Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
