In the future we'll all be gay
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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