david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
