idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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