who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
