I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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