Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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