I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
