I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
