I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Come on in and take your pants off
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