Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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