you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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