So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
