he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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