Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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