and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
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