There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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