After last night, I could never be a politician.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
