You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
