I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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