i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
