Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
