after a month anything with tits is on the radar
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
