i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Randomize
