Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
