ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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