I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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