When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
