You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
