My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
