Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I party with great urgency now.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
