You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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