it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
