This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she smelled like a LAN party
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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