I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
