But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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