Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
