just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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