If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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