just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
