We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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