wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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