We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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